This week I have something of a conundrum: I am committed to writing a weekly blog, but find the idea box sadly empty. So what to do? What to do? It occurs to me that doing - and saying nothing is sometimes best.
    Have you ever been with someone who talks incessantly, but says nothing? I have and find myself longing for silence, if only for a short time.
    I feared I was becoming something of a hermit, as I enjoy solitude, when a friend expressed much the same preference. Then, in the course of proofreading, I ran across an editorial decrying today's need for constant stimulation and the lack of appreciation for the home as a place of refuge, an island of blessed privacy where one can gather one's thoughts and become whole far from the "madding crowd" as it were.
    So this week, I resolved to say - nothing, but then I guess it's too late for that. Enjoy your weekend and find a little time for silence and reflection. You might find you like it. 

Children aren't the only ones who ask questions. Here are some to ponder - and perhaps make you laugh:
If practice makes perfect & nobody's perfect, why practice?
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner. 
What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way? 
Why do our noses run and our feet smell? 
If you get corn oil by squeezing corn, how do you get baby oil? 
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

 If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? 
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? 
 When someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide, can that be considered a hostage situation?
What Happens If You Get Scared Half To Death Twice?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #
Why do they call it "common sense" when it's so rare? 
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

If electricity comes from electrons does it mean morality comes from morons? 
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? 
If God didn't want us to eat people, why did he make them out of MEAT?

Here are some writerly quotes to tickle your funnybone:

One idea does not make a story, you need a second idea to rub it against in order to make a fire. ~Twyla Tharp

The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say. ~Anaïs Nin

Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. ~E.L. Doctorow

If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. ~Toni Morrison

The wastebasket is a writer's best friend. ~Isaac Bashevis Singer

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. ~Anton Chekhov

Easy reading is damn hard writing. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

Ink and paper are sometimes passionate lovers, oftentimes brother and sister, and occasionally mortal enemies. ~Emme Woodhull-Bäche

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. ~Mark Twain

A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer. ~Karl Kraus

Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. ~Gene Fowler

Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted. ~Jules Renard, Journal, 10 April 1895

Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum. ~Graycie Harmon

Every writer I know has trouble writing. ~Joseph Heller

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one. ~Baltasar Gracián

If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad. ~Lord Byron

Pen names are masks that allow us to unmask ourselves. ~C. Astrid Weber

If I'm trying to sleep, the ideas won't stop. If I'm trying to write, there appears a barren nothingness. ~Carrie Latet

The coroner will find ink in my veins and blood on my typewriter keys. ~C. Astrid Weber

Write your first draft with your heart. Re-write with your head. ~From the movie Finding Forrester

An author in his book must be like God in the universe, present everywhere and visible nowhere. ~Gustave Flaubert

If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams. ~Danzae Pace

No author dislikes to be edited as much as he dislikes not to be published. ~Russell Lynes

Loafing is the most productive part of a writer's life. ~James Norman Hall

A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people. ~Thomas Mann, Essays of Three Decades, 1947

Sit down, and put down everything that comes into your head and then you're a writer. But an author is one who can judge his own stuff's worth, without pity, and destroy most of it. ~Colette, Casual Chance, 1964

Following are some definitions designed to make you smile:

Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Esplanade: To attempt an explanation while drunk.   
Lymph:  To walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle: Olive-flavored mouthwash.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.